Tuesday, January 21, 2025
Man mom, this still doesn’t feel real. Yesterday was extremely tough on all of us. Today I just feel numb. We’ve definitely had a rollercoaster of ups and downs throughout the years, but one things never changed, and that’s my love for you. Damnit, I love you so much and my heart is so shattered right now! I just wish I could call you right now and tell you how much I love you and that I’m so very sorry for letting other things get in the way of our relationship these past couple of weeks. I’m truly sorry and I have so much regret right now it just hurts so bad. I never stopped loving you or caring about you. It broke my heart every day.I promise you that I will keep working on myself to be the best version of myself that I can be and that I will continue to fight these illnesses. I know that’s what you wanted for me and I’m gonna do that for you, and for myself and the girls. I’m gonna make you proud again, I promise. I’m so lost without you. I miss your 20 calls a day just to listen to each other breathe or for you to repeat the same story 10 times or for you to give me your daily updates on your medical problems lol. I’d give anything to have one more conversation with you. I will do right by the girls again too, I promise you that. I know it’s gonna take a lot of time at work, but I’m definitely gonna put it in. I just really have had a rough couple of years and I’m sorry that it’s affected so many people, including you and them. I wanna thank you for being the most wonderful grandmother to my kids. They truly adored you, I couldn’t have asked for a better grandma. I’m so very sorry you’re not gonna be able to meet your great grand child or see Malia graduate from Stanford. I know you were looking forward to both and I know you will be there in spirit. I’m just so sad that you’re not here anymore, I really wish you were. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you. I love you always and forever.
